Redirecting

Yes I've been angry at someone. And you know it must be work related as I have been vague about details. Not my work. My job is good. The point is -- what's the point? Here come all the anger cliches. Hating someone is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat. Anger is a a poison that damages the container. You can't keep a bird from landing on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair. My anger is justified. Someone is being an inhumane jerk. When an employee tried to negotiate a win-win solution, he is told "maybe this job isn't right for you."

Now to my point -- the anger doesn't serve me. It's futile. REDIRECT it somewhere that matters, toward a battle worth fighting. This isn't even my battle, although it affects me. Another reminder not to fight in my own strength. I want justice! Justice for this mean person. But do I want justice for myself? Have I ever hurt anyone? Um, yeah. How did I feel toward those who judged me? I was very quick to say "God doesn't need your help, He can deal with me all by Himself, thank you very much."

I used to go river tubing, and one of my worst experiences was getting caught in the whirlpool around the trees on the bank. I fell off my tube and almost drowned. Anger is like those trees. It distracts you from the flow and just drags you down. My job is to focus on the river and steer toward the goal of who I want to be. And that is a loving person, not an angry person. Get back on your tube Mama Bear. God's got this.

Change

When the pain of not changing becomes greater than the pain of changing, you'll make that change. And yet it's still so hard to leave the decidedly uncomfortable comfort zone for the great unknown. Why do we cling to our chains? Why do I feel so strongly when someone I love accepts the unnacceptable? I can handle an act of God much better than an act of inhumanity. I'm not angry if my loved one gets cancer. Upset, yes. But I am FURIOUS when someone mistreats my family. I am loaded for BEAR. My mother was like that. She even said she became a mama bear protecting her cub. I called her mama bear. Now that's my moniker. Sandra Bullock said "If you threaten my family, you threatan me" in "The Blind Side." And she was packing.

There is no proven formula for life. There are no risk-free options. I know when I've felt abused or oppressed I've taken action. I can't "just take it." Call me kamikaze. Call me mad dog. Call me mama bear. I don't care. Don't mess with the S.

A little local color

Art is all about contrast. So is my life. This painting by artist Carolyn Counnas spoke to me today. It said, "Remember how much you used to like art Sue?" I liked horses too, but that's another story. Art was my favorite subject in school. I'd sit at the desk, start my assignment and in the blink of an eye Miss Anderson would say "clean up!" I loved when East Junior High implemented block scheduling, giving me two hours in art class. Like most artists, reality and practicalities distracted me from my first love. Life has become a tad structured and square, with less contrast and more gray than I'd like. A lady from my aerobics class invited me to go to the Thousand Oaks Art Walk today. I loved it. It felt divinely appointed. I love that a random connection that I did not "work" for resulted in my attending. And I saw this painting, among others. My artist's heart is feeling decidedly red. My hand is craving the feel of a paint brush. My world feels a little rounder. I think even my eyes are brighter. I think it was a wake-up call from God.