What Matters Most

I do not feel my age. Saying the number is a little daunting. But overall, I'm very grateful. I've lost my parents, a sister, and several very close friends. Losing Cece, who was born the same year I was, five years ago has made me check myself if I start grumbling about my age. Cece would like to have stayed around longer to see her daughter graduate from high school, and now from college. I have no reason to grumble. There are two ages -- alive and not -- and I am alive. To waste my aliveness bogged down in negativity would be the height of stupidity. Yet I know I overlook blessings every day. God has dealt me some good cards and I want to play them well.

The most prominent blessing in my life is the love of friends and family. Not just their love for me, but my love for them. Finding ways to show my love gives me great joy. I love finding out that one person has a need that another person I know can fill. "Needs-based" matchmaking I guess. Some of my happiest moments have only been possible by their corresponding embarrassment. I so wanted to be a songleader in high school. (that is a more "dancy" form of cheerleader) I am not a natural, and I had no training. My friends Janet and Venus went out of their way to "step" me through each move. I am a "learned" dancer now, and I even spent a year teaching aerobics. My gratitude is enhanced by the fact that I was so slow and frustrated, and they loved me through it.

Then there was the "Singing in the Rain" audition. My daughter Erin, who was then 13, watched me read lines and sing for the director. Then the director asked if I would attend the dance audition, where I failed miserably. (Those cues went by so quickly, and what language was that choreographer speaking anyway? So much for French class.) However, I "thought on my feet" and used the experience as a teachable moment, telling Erin that "it's amazing what you can do if you are not afraid to feel stupid."

The most extreme fear I have ever experienced was singing in public for the first time. My knees and my voice shook, and I had to have a friend hold me up. I became determined to conquer that fear. Now one of my favorite things is singing. If I could do that, I think I could do most anything. (even dancing, if you teach me slowly!)

Reflecting on my 50+ years of life, it is those moments of overcoming fear that stand out the most. I had to do a lot of that to pursue the adventure of a life with Bob. I made mistakes, and I still do. But my heart knew "we just had to be together," and I'm glad that we are.

This video highlights some of my favorite moments. Here's to making more memories.