Sorting out the must-haves from the do-withouts

I want to say I know two kinds of people -- those who must have (things) and those who are okay doing without. The "must haves" HAVE stuff -- iPhones, iPads, newer cars, designer clothes, nice watches...whether or not they can afford them. When I am with them, they apply subtle pressure to spend more than I can afford. I don't think they even look at the prices on a menu. They are budget saboteurs. They "encourage" me to "loosen up a bit" because "you only live once." Get the Mercedes. Have that chocolate shake. Take that trip to the tropics with your tax refund. Don't be so stuffy. You're too conservative. You get the picture. I am tempted to stereotype them -- but it's not that simple. (is anything?)

Life is a process of deciding what is a must-have and what you can live without. And when we comment "persuasively" on each others' preferences, we are not seeing the whole picture. So we get into these (what I find to be) very uncomfortable conversations about money. "I can't afford that." "How much did you pay for that? I found it cheaper." "I did that entire event for only $2,000, and here's every deal I cleverly made to keep it under budget." YAWN. Why are you telling me this? And why do I feel tempted to answer with my must-have-do-without scale? What do you want from me? Do you want me to know you are smart? Successful? Happy? What?

Do you want to know what I really think? Probably not. But here is is. Whatever choices you make, good for you. I hope you are happy. Whatever choices I make, I don't need to explain. If I want to order water and a salad while you get the macadamia nut pancakes, I just want us both to be cool with it. I like my old car better than a new car payment. I truly don't enjoy paying $20 per calorie at a restaurant. I think martinis are a rip-off. I like nice clothes, and if money were no object, my wardrobe would be Kardashian-esque, but it's not in the cards right now -- because I'd have to use credit cards to do it. I like not having credit card payments. Oh well, I guess I just explained, even though it's nobody's business. But if you are tired of this like I am, maybe it gave you a smile. I hope so.

There are a lot of things that bring me happiness that do not cost money. Can we please find something else to talk about? Because talking about must-haves is definitely something I can do without.