July has been a Month. A MONTH even. Two gigs to prepare for, two non-local memorial services, two family birthdays, a high school reunion, and one anniversary celebration for someone dealing with advanced lung cancer. Of course, it's also my most high-pressure month at work. So let's throw in a cubicle relocation too. And how about a "right now" freelance website copy job as well? I'm not complaining. I'm imploding. I feel like putty. When the going gets tough, the tough go to sleep. It's my only hope of recharging.
Ironically, I'm probably going to miss church today, and the teaching topic is "simplifying your life." I know it involves how you decide what to say "yes" or "no" to. I want to say yes to everything and everyone! I have friends in town I would like to see. But I have conflicts. And one of those conflicts is my own bandwidth.
My kingdom for a helicopter. Getting around So Cal is a time robber. (hey, that rhymed!) Four hours and 15 minutes from Westlake to Dana Point door-to-door. The stop in Westwood was a bad plan. The Santa Monica Blvd. onramp is only one lane due to construction, causing drivers to sit in stuck sweatville moving one car length with each change of the traffic signal. Whining, no, WARNING -- yes! Even sigalert.com can only tell you so much. Watch out for those side streets off the 405.
It all looks so doable on paper. I'm glad I did what I did. And I'm sad for the "no's" I need to say. I will leap tall buildings, spend money I don't have, and even sit in sweat traffic to attend a loved one's memorial service.
Tami Sue, you were an extremely valuable part of my life. Your legacy lives on through your children. And the legend of the wide-mouthed frog. And the look on your face when you ate that sundae at Farrell's. (love this picture!) You said "yes" to life. You lived with passion. You ate the ice cream and you ran it off. As a nurse, you made your patients laugh, and treated each one like they were your own family. You taught me the value of honesty and loyalty. You made me a better person. You showed me how to be a trailblazer. You were a force. I can't wait to hang out with you in heaven.
And Papa Bear, thank you for always treating me like your own daughter and for making my mom laugh. She sparkled when she was with you.
As for the gigs, I'm so grateful for the opportunity to share the gift of music, to touch hearts through song, and to stand up and bare my soul. It's what I do, who I am, and my life's passion. My songs are my children. They are my gift.
For now, sleep is needed. Down time. White space. "Margin." Until 1 pm when I'm due at the next event. Vitamins, please. And thank you God, for giving me life that is rich with friends and loved ones. I pray that I am prioritizing properly. As I said in "Hippie at Heart," people matter more than stuff. The greatest gifts are peace and love. How you treat each other comes back around.
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