Sorting out the must-haves from the do-withouts

I want to say I know two kinds of people -- those who must have (things) and those who are okay doing without. The "must haves" HAVE stuff -- iPhones, iPads, newer cars, designer clothes, nice watches...whether or not they can afford them. When I am with them, they apply subtle pressure to spend more than I can afford. I don't think they even look at the prices on a menu. They are budget saboteurs. They "encourage" me to "loosen up a bit" because "you only live once." Get the Mercedes. Have that chocolate shake. Take that trip to the tropics with your tax refund. Don't be so stuffy. You're too conservative. You get the picture. I am tempted to stereotype them -- but it's not that simple. (is anything?)

Life is a process of deciding what is a must-have and what you can live without. And when we comment "persuasively" on each others' preferences, we are not seeing the whole picture. So we get into these (what I find to be) very uncomfortable conversations about money. "I can't afford that." "How much did you pay for that? I found it cheaper." "I did that entire event for only $2,000, and here's every deal I cleverly made to keep it under budget." YAWN. Why are you telling me this? And why do I feel tempted to answer with my must-have-do-without scale? What do you want from me? Do you want me to know you are smart? Successful? Happy? What?

Do you want to know what I really think? Probably not. But here is is. Whatever choices you make, good for you. I hope you are happy. Whatever choices I make, I don't need to explain. If I want to order water and a salad while you get the macadamia nut pancakes, I just want us both to be cool with it. I like my old car better than a new car payment. I truly don't enjoy paying $20 per calorie at a restaurant. I think martinis are a rip-off. I like nice clothes, and if money were no object, my wardrobe would be Kardashian-esque, but it's not in the cards right now -- because I'd have to use credit cards to do it. I like not having credit card payments. Oh well, I guess I just explained, even though it's nobody's business. But if you are tired of this like I am, maybe it gave you a smile. I hope so.

There are a lot of things that bring me happiness that do not cost money. Can we please find something else to talk about? Because talking about must-haves is definitely something I can do without.

My week in review

Sometimes I feel so lost in administrivia I need to sift through the events of the week to see if there were any nuggets amidst all that sand. The week began with Weinergate. Lots of folks talking about it, and it made me cringe. It wouldn't have been nearly so noticed if it weren't for the irony of his name. Sure, what he did was wrong and embarrassing, but making fun of someone because of his name is so...kindergarten! The tabloid caricatures rear their ugly heads, and I'm not just talking about the new Conan commercial. Then there was the LA Times story about California wasting millions of dollars on teacher education that has not proven to raise test scores. What is the point, that teachers don't need education? That the education they are getting is no good? That test scores are the be-all and end-all measurement of whether kids are learning? In the online blogworld blame game, fingers were also pointed at parents, who don't discipline their children and therefore their children's bad behavior makes it hard for kids to learn, and poverty, because kids who are hungry and not well cared for can't learn. So everyone got to blame someone and the kids are still not performing well on standardized tests. All in a good day's work I guess. I can't go into too much detail about work, so the short story is there is more change for the sake of change that feels like moving the deck chairs around on the Titanic. Lots of top-down orders and very little listening to those on the front lines. I try not to dwell on it and go back to doing my work to the best of my ability while continuing to learn and improve. School's out for the summer and that's an awesome high for my teacher friends. My songwriter friend Alan has his #1 hit from 1977 featured in Spielberg's new movie -- so happy for him. The highlights of my week were those happy moments for my friends, walking my dog to the park to socialize with other neighborhood dogs, and watching the sunset together on the front porch. The rest feels like noise. Yet it's so hard to discern the important from the unimportant in the day-by-day moments. I am getting better at turning the channel in my mind. Now it's time to fortify the filter.