Saturday, February 27, 2010

Who's the Boss?


I know two things for sure. There is a God. And I'm not Him. Yet I find myself taking the weight of the world on my shoulders as if I'm self-sufficient. I think it through, and then pray specifically for the solution I think is best. However, I might have missed something. The solution may affect people besides me. There is a master organizer putting things in place His way and in His time. He knows my needs. I don't need to tell him what I think is the best solution. He has promised to provide. He has, and He is. Just not the way I thought, or specifically requested. I have a job interview next week. I am praying that I get the offer. Then I'll have a new boss. Whether I get it or not, God is my employer. He's not here for me. I'm here for Him. I think I'm being tested (not just for the job either - that's a whole other story). "Sue do you trust Me?" Only a fool would say no. Look at my little Blake trusting me to catch him in the pool. Kids make it look easy. Yet it's difficult for us grown-ups. Like playing the piano, trusting takes practice. I think I'll add "I surrender all" to my daily piano practice. And I wonder if I can learn Excel by next Wednesday. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Peace out.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Winds of Change


I've been thinking too hard. My head hurts. A sick family member, job hunting, doing taxes and watching the nest egg disappear are enough cement blocks to threaten the flight of even the biggest hot air balloon. Well how fortunate that I've been blessed with an abundance of hot air! Give the brain a rest and activate the lungs. Put your lips together and blow that balloon back up! One of my favorite bosses used to say "remember none of this is really happening." He also said "once you get past your own repugnance, you'll be fine." He had a way of putting things in perspective. I think I've been overthinking this. It's a phase. It will pass. God is good. And...after all...tomorrow is another day!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Career Conundrum


According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), I am an ENFP:

* E – Extraversion preferred to Introversion: ENFPs often feel motivated by their interaction with people. They tend to enjoy a wide circle of acquaintances, and they gain energy in social situations (whereas introverts expend energy)
* N – iNtuition preferred to Sensing: ENFPs tend to be more abstract than concrete. They focus their attention on the big picture rather than the details, and on future possibilities rather than immediate realities.
* F – Feeling preferred to Thinking: ENFPs tend to value personal considerations above objective criteria. When making decisions, they often give more weight to social implications than to logic.
* P – Perception preferred to Judgment: ENFPs tend to withhold judgment and delay important decisions, preferring to "keep their options open" should circumstances change.

ENFPs are initiators of change, keenly perceptive of possibilities. They energize and stimulate others through their contagious enthusiasm. They prefer the start-up phase of a project or relationship, and are tireless in the pursuit of new-found interests. ENFPs are able to anticipate the needs of others and to offer them needed help and appreciation. They bring zest, joy, liveliness, and fun to all aspects of their lives. They are at their best in situations that are fluid and changing, and that allow them to express their creativity and use their charisma. They are easily frustrated if a project requires a great deal of follow-up or attention to detail.

Good careers for my type include teaching, art, marketing, church worker, counseling, writing, music and helping professions.

Now to the job/employment search. Most manager types take my energy and enthusiasm and try to put it in a box. They expect that I can sit in a chair at a computer for 40+ hours each week and give them the creativity they want. No variety. No flexibility. They expect mastery of the latest analytical software and “extreme attention to detail.” In short, they hire an ENFP then try to convert me to an ISTJ. And they say women try to change men. Dr. Phil would say “how’s it working for you?” Not so great folks.

I’m with Sammy Davis Jr. – I gotta be me. I am about ready to move to the island for misfit toys. You just can’t put Sue in the box. God made me this way. His guidance is my only hope. Please God, just pick me up like a chess piece and place me where I fit.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Just for Today


Just for today I'll make friends with the pain
I won't run away, I'll just let it rain
And I'll feel, I'll be real
Let the tears fall where they may
Just for today

Just for today I'll surrender this longing
To take what I want when it's not what I need
Let it go, bare my soul
I'm letting go of the reins
Just for today

Tomorrow is too much to bear
And yesterday's what brought me here
Learning to live in this moment
Safe in God's hands

Just for today I'll step up to the plate
I won't run away, look myself in the face
Let God in, start again
I'm willing to do it His way
Let the tears fall where they may
Just for today

I sang this at a 12-step meeting last Saturday. I played guitar. It wasn't perfect. But it's ok. Living in the moment is so much less stressful than zooming out and focusing on the master plan. Because we never have the master plan. God has the puzzle box, and we have a few pieces. Play your piece. And pray for peace.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Relax and Persevere


I have caused myself unnecessary stress by holding myself responsible for things out of my control. Like when I would get married. Or who would like my audition. And will the client like my idea. What a perfect recipe for stress. My mom used to say "all you can do is your best." Who knew I had the answer given to me way back then? I am responsible for the effort. God is responsible for the results. I can even blame God when I don't get the results I want. I'm so off the hook! Putting in effort is not easy, but it is not stressful. Stress is related to worry, which is bad for us. So I guess the trick is distinguishing between effort and stress. Persevering is good. Then let it go. The ego wants results. The heart wants a sense of purpose and reward. Straight A's, Grammy Awards and happy clients are not bad things to achieve. It's the motivation for the achievement that matters -- a big head or a happy heart. Seems to me a big head just leads to more pressure and more stress. Contentment of heart and soul is not based on results or perfection, but rather purpose. Contentment is my goal. I'll do my best not to stress over it.