I feel like a computer screen that needs to be refreshed many times each day. My mantra is "reframe, reframe, reframe," so that I adjust to each moment without fighting it with my ideas of how it used to be, how it's supposed to be, or how I wish it was.
Much of my overwhelmed feeling is a result of being sick for over a week. I'm finally feeling up to doing normal things, and I'm beyond behind. Frustration is like a flame that can grow into a bonfire with very little oxygen. I am aware that most of my frustration is self-inflicted. That's good news. That means I can choose another perspective.
The 12-step program advises us to live one day at a time. Sometimes for me that means 10 minutes at a time. I am aware of the mindset that expects too much and moves too fast. I just stop and breathe. Reset the expectations. Prioritize. Watch out for rabbit trails. And Facebook is where rabbits run rampant. It's not just the time spent reading people's posts. It's the thought process that those posts provoke. And it's usually something like "I should be doing more of (whatever) and look at how much (whoever) is doing." Not to mention, hmmm, I haven't posted a blog in awhile.
It takes strength of mind to come back from the rabbit trails and focus. Both of my kids are students as well as leading very responsible lives. Their ability to concentrate on improving their minds impresses the tar out of me. I'm not trying anything nearly that ambitious. My focus right now is a healthy mind, body and spirit. If my insides are messed up, my outsides will be as well. So I start with the basics and go from there. It's an inside-out job.
Between job transition and being sick, I feel like I have rolled to the bottom of the canyon. It's a long way back up. And the only way to tackle it is one step at a time.
Maybe it's easier when you have a boss. I am my own boss. Therefore I can change my mind and argue with myself. I don't have someone else's perspective to help me make decisions.
I do know that I need to treat myself the way I would treat anyone I love. With gentleness, kindness, and grace. It won't ALL get done on any given day. Things can change in a flash. The world can be a very confusing place. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is overwhelmed. I will do others the kindness of not trying to project that I have it all together. It feels caring to me to be real and put my humanity out there. We are more than our Facebook posts. Each day is full of many complex thoughts and actions. The important thing is that we have each other. I try to make real eye contact with the people I encounter throughout my day. We are missing that on our computer screens. Bring humanity to every moment you can. Smile, touch, hug, or just say something kind. The most important chores get done somehow.
Ready? Breathe. Feel my cyber hug. Smile. If you read this, we connected human-to-human today. Thank you.
