I am enjoying Oprah’s lifeclass. I’ve never been a die-hard Oprah fan. This format works so much better for me than the talk show. It allows me to “do my own therapy.” And for me, therapy is a lifelong process. I have seen roughly 20 therapists. And my experiences with them run the gamut of good, bad, and ugly. Not all therapists are good. I don’t know how you tell the good from the not good, other than to quote Oprah when she talks about that little voice in your head that says, “hmm, something just isn’t right.” If you sense that something isn’t right about your therapist, listen to your gut.
If your therapist ticks you off, that is not necessarily bad. In retrospect, those who were not brave enough to take a risk did not help me. I’m not paying someone to tell me I’m right. I want to know where I’m wrong, where my blindspots are, and what patterns I’m stuck in that are not for my best. My best therapist took time to get to know me. She gave me homework and suggested resources I could investigate on my own to learn more. She didn’t label me or allow me to label myself. Although we are both Christian, she didn’t use “shoulds” in the sessions or preach to me.
My worst therapists either looked at me like a bug under a microscope with no emotion, slapped me with their version of the truth in a harsh, non-empathetic way, or weren’t smart or brave enough to tell me I was allowing myself to be victimized by an unsafe person. One said words to the effect of “well, if you can’t afford to change it, you can learn to accept it.” Ok, time for big, bold letters.
Anyone who tells you to accept disrespectful treatment should not be giving you advice! Do NOT accept that. It’s wrong, lazy, and damaging. (wow that felt good!)
Yes, there are therapists who damage people with their ignorance. And, I’m sorry to say so, but just because the person is a priest, minister, PhD, or “relationship expert” does not mean that person is qualified. Anyone can still be misguided, sick, deluded, on drugs, or just plain messed up.
I know so many people who are unhappy and could benefit from good therapy. But they don’t know whom to trust. I always seem to want more for them than they want for themselves. Now I will happily tell them about Oprah’s lifeclass. And it’s free. She asks good questions and encourages people to seek their own answers. Like a good therapist. You go Lady O. I love what you are doing!
