A New Me

I've been reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose." He has much to say about ego. The back cover says "...Tolle shows how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world. Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates dysfunction...and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence."

This is not easy reading. I've picked the book up and put it down many times, trying to get into it. But once I'm in, I'm glad I'm in. I'm heartened by the fact that his bio doesn't talk about how many books he has sold, awards he has won, or what celebrities have endorsed him. His bio is uncharacteristically short:

Eckhart Tolle is a contemporary spiritual teacher who is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition. In his writing and seminars, he conveys a simple yet profound message with the timeless and uncomplicated clarity of the ancient spiritual masters. There is a way out of suffering and into peace. Tolle travels extensively, taking his teachings throughout the world. He lives in Vancouver, British Columbia.

This is not "10 Steps to Peace for Dummies." It's about awareness, breaking a thought paradigm, and removing ego-based habits that do not serve us or the greater good. It's about unity, not division. Acceptance, not labels of "right" and "wrong." Removing anger and resentment at the root. Charlie Sheen, this is winning.

The question is, if I am not living an ego-based life, who am I? It's like pruning all the weeds out of your yard and finding out all you have is dirt. I guess it's seed planting time. And my challenge is having the patience to realize the harvest takes time. For awhile, life may be just dirt with seeds underneath. And it's human nature to miss the weeds. They were familiar. They were company. They looked better than dirt.

What is the opposite of ego? I don't know if the book answers that, but my answer is love. Can I live my life in such a way that love will lead to work that pays the bills? I would like that very much. I've made a living in advertising, which often involves selling, bragging, persuading, and prompting people to buy something. Not always. Sometimes it's making people aware of a valuable service that they truly need. Those are the more rewarding endeavors for me. I've also been a singer and songwriter. I've written and sung songs about love and about God. I've also helped people consume alcohol, which is not my favorite thing. The task itself is less important than the motivation. I want my life to be in alignment with the motivation of giving love.

This is a challenging journey, discovering that my ego is not my amigo. It creeps in all over the place. I feel somewhat lost. I identified with things that supported my ego. Now I'm not sure who I am. I guess for now I'm a gardener. I may look like dirt for awhile, but I choose to have faith that the flowers will bloom, I will share them with others, and the Creator will use me to make the world better.