Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Love is easy, relationships can be hard


Well hello blog, it has been a long time since I've written. Anything.

The world seems to change exponentially by the minute. Yet some things are timeless -- love, health, finances. Seems most everyone is dealing with struggle in at least one of those areas. And they are dynamic. What works one day does not necessarily work the next day.

Relationships are on my heart today. AKA love. One of the dearest, most rewarding and special aspects of being alive is having a trusting and truthful relationship with someone. And one of the most difficult is realizing a relationship must change or end. I want to love everyone, and am reading a wonderful book called "Everybody Always" by Bob Goff, which is about demonstrating love toward even the most unlovable. I can do better. But I also know when to give a "wide berth" to those who are not trustworthy, the "emotional vampires," and the users. I realize that there is bad in the best of us and good in the worst of us. I've studied behavioral psychology and do not want to reward bad behavior. Yet, I have behaved badly at times and been grateful for those who loved me through it. I've also been grateful for those who called me on my behavior, because they helped me grow.

I've recently left a relationship (not my marriage, my marriage is good). It was difficult. I wanted to skulk away. I believed the people involved would not even notice I was gone. I expressed my reasons and walked away. I believed what I had was an unwarranted loyalty to a toxic entity. I believe that there is no repairing it. I just had to trust my gut that it was harmful for me to stay in it. It still hurts, and is a loss. But I am healing. I don't feel stuck anymore, and that is a good thing.

A friend of mine has been betrayed by her soon-to-be ex-husband in the most soul-crushing way possible. My heart hurts for her. When marriages turn to war, it's shattering. There are kids involved. I feel outraged at this man's behavior. I believe he is sick in the soul. So I pray he will get well. In the meantime, wide berth. My place is by my friend's side.

I want to be a person who loves hard, loves with actions, stays humble, and exercises discernment. That discernment can be so tricky. I try to remember to love myself first. I will pick my battles carefully, but I will not accept unacceptable treatment and relationships. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I am praying for wisdom today.

No comments:

Post a Comment