Counting Blessings

I remember a Christmas when my life was like a doughnut. I was encircled with family, I had a stable job and was able to buy a few much needed items with my Christmas bonus. The big hole in the middle was someone special to share my life with. This Christmas my doughnut has turned sort of inside out. I still have wonderful family, but the holidays magnify the loss of certain very significant loved ones. The career is sputtering at the moment. The bright spot is this beautiful person I am blessed to share my life with. It doesn't erase the sadness or the imperfection of life. But what you focus on can guide you from sorrow to gratitude, and that's the ship I'm sailing on today. Thank you for this kind, fun, caring musical soul mate. He's the answer to all my wishes, and the owner of all my kisses. I love you Bob.

Relationship: 10 Career: 2

Anyone who works with sound gear understands the graphic equalizer concept. Picture a sound board with all those knobs and faders. What would it sound like if every fader were moved all the way up? Yet that's how I wish my life could be. I guess if I got my wish, it would be an overwhelming wall of sound with every note demanding my full attention.

If that analogy isn't clear enough, Dr. Laura has another one. She said "nobody gets two full sets of dishes." She was responding to a caller who was blessed with one thing and not with another. She wanted it all. Well don't we all. I've had some career moments where success just seemed to fall into my lap. Successful projects. The right amount of work. Stimulating work. A happy boss. A raise. Even a bonus ideal for a down payment on a little red hot rod. Mr. Right was nowhere in sight. Now he's here. And finding deep, caring, respectful, lasting soul-mate love is my grandest dream come true. And what do I say? "God, show me the money!" (please)

I write. I sing & play piano and guitar. I encourage people. And I can baby an animal like nobody's business. I'm thankful for my off-the-chart love relationship. Really. I'm just sayin' -- can we move that career fader up a few notches? Add a few serving platters to my extra set of dishes? A little nudge or a thunderbolt -- whatever sign I need -- I'm praying, watching and hoping.